on thursday i decided i need a hair cut
and when its time - its time
i can be rather obsessive compulsive at times

holy shit
i just looked up OC in the dictionary
there was all but a picture of me

obsessive compulsive
adjective
of or pertaining to a personality style characterized
by perfectionism, indecision, conscientiousness,
concern with detail, rigidity
and inhibition


whoa
1 - anyone who has worked with or for me knows
i maintain high standards and attention to detail
2 - one of my minor goals is NOT having everything just so
3 - when i get home i cant decide what to eat
or what to watch on tv
4 - when i get really smashed i might take off my clothes
5 - as for the rigidity thing - i'd rather not dicuss it
as my ash reads my blog [sorry honey - couldnt resist]

so you do the math ...OC? ...absolutely

i like my ducks in a row














oh well - everybody's gotta be something

anyhoo
so thursday i decide im gonna get my haircut on friday

here's my stance on haircuts
its one or the other
A - old fashioned barber complete with barber chair,
tacky pictures of engelbert, straight razer
and talc brush finish
B - a chick with big tits
sometimes i'm A sometimes i'm B

on friday i decided to go A - a barber i frequented
in a neighbourhood i lived in about 3 years ago
when i get there i see he's gone - a vietnamese
salon is there instead
i do have to work shortly but cant resist the sign that
reads mens cuts 7 bucks
so i say to mice elf - elf, how bad could it be
alls i want is a semi-brush cut

the guy that runs the place speaks english
he motions me to an open chair and tells my girl to do me
(or at least i assume he does
as they are speaking "what-the-fuck-are-you-saying")

heres the thing

she has this look on her face
a look that breaks the language barrier
"you want me - to cut - his hair - i i i just started today"
so i tell her (bless her heart, the poor thing)
i just wanna #1 buzz on the side and back
blend into a #3 buzz on top
[bobs yer uncle im outee in 10 minutes]
giving me the "what-the-hell-are-you-saying" smile
she lifts a small tuft of hair with a comb
and snips off an 16th of an inch from one or two hairs
10 hairs later
i know shes not just warming up
so i re-suggest (in my most deffereverent barber vernacular)
she should avail herself of a more alacritous appliance
with up and down motions
of my bill clintonesque thumb and forefinger
i make the sound ZZZZ ZZZZ
the light goes on and she smiles

however when she uses the ZZZZ ZZZZ
she's still slow as molasses in january
and as hesitant as a teenage boy pinning the corsage
on the gown of his prom date

like i said bless her heart
all told i was in the chair for 40 minutes
and i tell her it looks fine
i really mean im late for work and plan to fix it myself

so that brings me to today
"...and i plan to fix it"
before meeting kb & mp at our local
i take my sidebern trimmer and give myself a trim
[hand smacks] thats done - lets go for a cider

after an hours worth of friendly banter
mp tells me i missed spot
nbw i think - ill just take of that when i get home
a double ceasar and 2 heinekens later im at home
in front of my mirror

unfortunately i forgot the setting at which i had
previously set my clippers and didnt notice until
the sink was full of too much hair

sooooo....i had to reshave to get rid of the
landing strip i carved into my head

and now i'm practically bald
i doubt my mom will even recognize me



















she likes my hair longer


















bern shares
bv)

ps jsyk - i made up the word deffereverent