5 years ago my work slacks shrink

im sure it is because of a change in detergent
errr, maybe that year was particularily humid
or maybe even someone switched em as a prank
thats it!
some bastard picked my lock and switched my pants

anyhoo

just in case it gets even more humid
i go out and buy me a pair of
"expandible waistline" dress slacks for men
...just in case

1 year ago the expandible integrity
lost its retractability
leaving me with pants that hear the floor's siren call

to combat this i begin tying my apron
tight enough around said waistline
to fend off this gravitational invitation

[oblivious to the obvious solution]

1 month ago it occurs to me to wear a belt [duh]
unfortunately, the only belt i own
has succumbed to same fate as my waiter work-slacks
...humidity
....ohhh, i hate humidity
so i put up with a crimped-up waistline
thinking that not having to constantly pull up
my pants and apron is better

1 week ago the penny drops
and it occurs to me to put a another notch in my belt
for temporary use ...until this damn humidity lets up

1 day ago i say to mice elf, bern i say
you ...are 1 smart guy

i may not be the quickest whip
but at least my crack is muffled



















bern shares
bv)