we went camping this weekend past
we being nameless jeff with his wife TTS and daughter MLY
as well as KB and his lady love MP
KB is a virgin to camping but nonetheless
a consenting urbanite
God bless your merry heart mr man!
for myself its not so much that i like camping
(which i do in short stints)
i love to get away and leave the shit behind

we left TO around 3:30 on friday
im not a car guy (going on 13 years)
holy traffic - sheesh!!
it never occurred to me that 3 million other people
in 1 million cars would have the same idea
we spent half our journey just trying
to reach the city walls
being the oldest in the car
i got shotgun - cuz grown-ups get the front seat
unfortunately that meant i couldnt watch the dvd
the other younglings were enjoying
(dvd players in cars - huh)

















lake simcoe is our destination
a one and a half hour journey turned into
a three hour tour
a three hour tour













the weather started getting rough
the tiny camp was tossed
if not for a belt from a jug of jim beam
some tempers would be lost
some tempers would be lost

setting up camp in the rain sucks
(common vernacular deemed necessary)
and im still trying to figure out my tent
[kinda like elton john lyrics]
pegs and strings and poles oh my
[calgon take me away]
it was virgin-boy KB who had the foresight to pack some hooch
God bless your merry heart mr man!














so being the troopers we are - our got camp set up
[did i mention IN THE RAIN]
we begrudgingly passed on MPs plank-salmon dinner (bummer)
and headed into orillia for an easy-peasy
sit down dinner at 'hey bahdah bing bahdah boom'

having eatin and lcbo'ed we headed back to 'our pad'
well well
lordy lordy
the clouds had retreated and the heavens burst forth
(out there somewhere is pluto formerly known as a planet)

personal note:
there are four things that allow me to rationalize
mosquitos, too-far-away toilets, cheerful people before noon,
and too-far-away toilets:

*holy stars at night
*camp fire captivation
*sleeping in my tent on a cool summers eve
*taking a dip in the lake (in lieu of a shower)
[i know its gross - but its true]

i was the last to go to bed that evening
(reckon bout 5ish)
if a moment could last forever
(besides my ASH being born)
that would have been it
no noise
no city shit
no guilty conscience (im catholic)
no work
no regret
for one moment all things are possible
my dreams can come true
and i get to live happily ever after

counting shooting stars
crackling campfire
cricket orchestration
chipmunks raccoons and bears oh my
the big dipper
where is that dang little dipper
no fire flies - drag
and a cool refreshing cider with a jaggie back














heres a thing
stare at the fire long enough to close your pupils
then look up at the sky
as your pupils adjust to the lack of light
the heavens unfold and are revealed star by star
do it again
and again
and again
as many times as it takes to humble your big-city heart

giddy-up jack

the next morning (only hours later)
i was last to be born from my tent (props to TTS)
KB and MP had followed nameless jeff and family to go for a dip
donned only in shorts i repaired my tent from its hasty setup
then i made myself a cuppa joe
took a fold out chair and enjoyed the silence
[after 25+ years in restaurant biz - i do enjoy my silence]
by time the rest of the cats came back from the lake
i was good to go

one by one they tricked down the lane back to camp
wee MLY first ...'i just wanted to run back'
now it was time for breakfast
aside from TTS there were 4 cooks on the campsite
and all had different ideas bout:
how eggs are done
how beans are cooked
how bacon keeps warm
how bread is toasted
one thing we did agree on was that
too many cooks spoil the breakfast
after a little powwow and a few apoligies we got crackin ;)
for the rest of weekend our cooking went off
swimmingly (rain aside)

while eating our sumptuous coleman stove breakfest
we bantered about our rain soaked set up the night before
nameless jeff and i went for an invigorating dip in the lake

then the boys went to town (literally) for provisions
the girls let the boys go 'to town' on the unspoken proviso
that the boys not forget the provisions
should they happen to stop for a cold refreshing 'dehydrator'

ok boys
lcbo - check
grocery store - check
butcher - check
(tell me, do you link your own sausage)
fresh corn - check
ice - check
firewood - check

yes of course we stopped for a beer
do bears shit in the woods
(BEARS!!!)
maria was our bartender
pretty and spunky
was 30 per cent too much
i think not
[when i think back on maria i sure gets lusty eh]

















provisions in car we headed back to the camp site to prepare
our dinner extravaganza
KB steaks
jeffs shrimp and cheese stuffed toms on greens
berns moms potatos
and corn bbqed in the husk

















just as we finished preparing dinner
the aforementioned heavens opened - with rain - again
but that did not douse our spirits
huddled under a tarp we noshed like barbarians

the berns 'moms potatos' were killer (its my blog)

after that:
TTS and MLY tented
KB and MP kanoodled under tarp
jeff and bern kept the dream alive by
umbrella'ing and feeding the campfire

if the fire dies
so to do the hope and dreams of all mankind
we even served smores to our fellow campers (in the rain)

despite the rain the evening was rife with great moments
after everyone crept off to their tent (not plural ww jeffery)
me myself and i availed ourselves of the campfire
this time sans stars
my golf umbrella (fore!) shielded me from the rain
and once again my reveries took me far and away

the next day
i was last to be born from my tent ...again
holy hangover
(might have been the red wine, could have been the jager)
KB and MP helped me take down my tent
God bless your merry hearts!!
i went for one more dip for the road
and then we headed back to the city

when we arrived back in the big smoke
it was 1:30 on sunday
we had only been away for about 46 hours
felt like 4 days

cool

good times spent with my friends
the quality of which is punctuated
by God's green earth
...so what if i was 5 pounds heavier

i got dropped off first
then the happy couples returned to their roosts
being a bachelor - my abode was empty and seemed all too quiet
so off i went to my local
two of andrews sunday caesars got me reurbanized lickitysplit

and thankfully
fond memories of campfires and the stars above
still linger

bern shares
bv)