i just defrosted my freezer
no it doesnt defrost on its own
its old like my frigidaire stove
that doesnt self-clean either
(do we have that technology yet?)
i hate cleaning the oven
as easy-off as it is
usually the only time i clean my oven is when i move
however, this last move was an exception
because "M. Simms" left "me" a shit hole of a mess
[im not a tell-tale so i'll just say
his first name rhymnes with dick-wad
i mean turd-face, i mean michael]
...the least of which was the oven
i cleaned everything except the oven
did i mention im easy-off put by oven cleaning
consequently - after a year and some
it is screaming for some attention
hellloooo...
im filthy dirty - im in need of a good scrub
ummm ...ahhh
sorry, what was i talking about?
oh yeah
its cool i have "buy easy-off" on my list
and i fully intend to
clean my oven regardless of the fact that
im not moving ...[is anybody looking after bern??!!!]
(ww jiff & kb - the buds that "moved" me :)
[[sometimes - i kill mice elf]]
anyhoo
defrosting a freezer is like mowing a lawn
its there
now its gone
instant gratification
kinda like vacuuming (double u?)
which i rarely do as well
same for dusting
my "vacuuming" is done with a rake (biannually)
as for "dusting" i carefully grab the corner
of the dust and make a roll-up then chuck it
onto the pile of raked-up apartment-floor build-up
then i open up my windows
and toss a lit match on to the pyre
[of free-spirited pistachios, runaway shreddies,
nomadic mnm's and navel lint ...i reckon ]
speaking of windows - dont even get me started
actually you cant get me started ...on windows
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
unless of course
...a chick ...MIGHT drop in
then its
whoop whoop whoop
memah memah memah
dive dive dive
bogies in sight
i repeat - bogies in sight
im not leaving my wing man
im not leaving my wing man
swab the poop deck
batten down the hatches
happy days are here again
the skies above are clear again
so lets sing a song of cheer again
happy days are here again
a chick might drop in?!!
giddy-up and bobs yer uncle
heck - id even don my mask 'n snorkel
and dive into the bathroom
i can feel my moms eyes rolling
..."ach, bernert"
my mother (Gbhms) has long stopped tidying
my place when she comes to visit
although she still prunes and preens my plants
[thay that thwee times]
which is cool
cuz i trellis a budding 1st degree green thumb
as much as i love me mom
i want to end with the
"a chick might drop in" thot
because
a mans gotta dream
and the sun will come up tomorrow
unless of course
my bedroom drapes have yet to be drawn
(wink wink shove shove ...oh hi ...good morning)
and so ..boiled down - heres MY segue:
defrosting my freezer - freeing my defroster
"because a man's gotta feel like a man
and theres something about an aqua velva man"
bern shares
bv)
no it doesnt defrost on its own
its old like my frigidaire stove
that doesnt self-clean either
(do we have that technology yet?)
i hate cleaning the oven
as easy-off as it is
usually the only time i clean my oven is when i move
however, this last move was an exception
because "M. Simms" left "me" a shit hole of a mess
[im not a tell-tale so i'll just say
his first name rhymnes with dick-wad
i mean turd-face, i mean michael]
...the least of which was the oven
i cleaned everything except the oven
did i mention im easy-off put by oven cleaning
consequently - after a year and some
it is screaming for some attention
hellloooo...
im filthy dirty - im in need of a good scrub
ummm ...ahhh
sorry, what was i talking about?
oh yeah
its cool i have "buy easy-off" on my list
and i fully intend to
clean my oven regardless of the fact that
im not moving ...[is anybody looking after bern??!!!]
(ww jiff & kb - the buds that "moved" me :)
[[sometimes - i kill mice elf]]
anyhoo
defrosting a freezer is like mowing a lawn
its there
now its gone
instant gratification
kinda like vacuuming (double u?)
which i rarely do as well
same for dusting
my "vacuuming" is done with a rake (biannually)
as for "dusting" i carefully grab the corner
of the dust and make a roll-up then chuck it
onto the pile of raked-up apartment-floor build-up
then i open up my windows
and toss a lit match on to the pyre
[of free-spirited pistachios, runaway shreddies,
nomadic mnm's and navel lint ...i reckon ]
speaking of windows - dont even get me started
actually you cant get me started ...on windows
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
unless of course
...a chick ...MIGHT drop in
then its
whoop whoop whoop
memah memah memah
dive dive dive
bogies in sight
i repeat - bogies in sight
im not leaving my wing man
im not leaving my wing man
swab the poop deck
batten down the hatches
happy days are here again
the skies above are clear again
so lets sing a song of cheer again
happy days are here again
a chick might drop in?!!
giddy-up and bobs yer uncle
heck - id even don my mask 'n snorkel
and dive into the bathroom
i can feel my moms eyes rolling
..."ach, bernert"
my mother (Gbhms) has long stopped tidying
my place when she comes to visit
although she still prunes and preens my plants
[thay that thwee times]
which is cool
cuz i trellis a budding 1st degree green thumb
as much as i love me mom
i want to end with the
"a chick might drop in" thot
because
a mans gotta dream
and the sun will come up tomorrow
unless of course
my bedroom drapes have yet to be drawn
(wink wink shove shove ...oh hi ...good morning)
and so ..boiled down - heres MY segue:
defrosting my freezer - freeing my defroster
"because a man's gotta feel like a man
and theres something about an aqua velva man"
bern shares
bv)
posted by bern shares at 2:34 AM
8 Comments:
just suppose i juxtapose.
your freezer and
outside.
feel frigid still? frustrated? feverishly flummoxed into fleeing your freezing fate?
my febrile yet frosty friend, has freeing the fridge of its frost flung your feeling of forlornity far, far from familar fronts ?
a feisty feat if factual. and fitting.
on finding a functional finish to your frustrations.....
felicitations
hmmm...velly innntellesting
and just so ya know
for fuckin fits and figgles
i tip my hat mr man
to your theaurisetical aliteration
and profound appreciation
you rhyme what meters
all shit aside
i apologize (for my spelling)
for spurs cast earlier
you have proven yourself to be a good and pontificous man =)
anyhoo
thank you for your support
good timing buddy boy
i find adventures everywhere, and friends with whom I'd like to share. travelling around from town to town.
sometimes i think i'll settle down
and maybe get a blogger indentity. but i know i'd hunger to be free. rovin' is the only life for me.
a-driftin'. the world is my friend. I'm travelin' along the road without end.
there's a voice that keeps calling me. down the road is where I'll always be.
every stop i make, I'll make a new friend. can't stay for long, just turn around and I'm gone again.
MAYBE TOMORROW I'LL WANT TO SETTLE DOWN. UNTIL TOMMORROW, I'LL JUST KEEP MOVING ON.
SO IF YOU WANT TO JOIN ME FOR A WHILE JUST GRAB YOUR HAT, COME TRAVEL LIGHT- THATS HOBO STYLE(NO BLOG ADDRESS)
MAYBE TOMMORROW, I'LL FIND WHAT I CALL HOME. UNTIL TOMORROW, YOU KNOW I'M FREE TO ROAM
SO LONG. IT WAS FUN.
anonymous,
you have intermingled the lyrics
from the '63 and '79 shows
and "so long, it was fun"
is in neither
...you going somewhere?
going going gone? given up the ghost? great galloping gadzooks! grieve not, your garrulous gadfly grooves glowingly with a guys glossary of gobbledegook. whether it be girthy guts, our glaciated gotham,or glaborous girls; gratuitous gossip is my game. a grateful guest in your gymnasium of goodly gab i good-humoredly and grandly give my guano gilded glibitity.
and by the way, .....show? what show? '63 and '79 ? not all of us were born then, let alone watching t.v? broadway? what are these shows you speak of? and how many lines into it did it take for you to recognize the ditty from this show in this phantasmorgia of yours? i knew i could count on you
anonymous:
i didnt necessarily recognize
your ditty as the lyrics for
"the littlest hobo"
as much as i caught the familiar
whiff of cheese served up regularily as
"the weekly tv serial"
this one smacks of "happier" times
before the advent of in-yer-face
sex, violence and social conscience
albiet narrow-minded and microcosmistic
[having run-on-sentenced - i miss those days and use them as my guiding star]
monsieur googlee assisted
me in "tacking it down" and jsyk
i loved that show (the '63 version)
bernard knows best
bv)
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