i was thinking about the first time i heard
my kid swear












she advanced straight to swearing-401
the f-word
and this is a bone of contention between us
as she still maintains to this day it never happened

as i recall it was the winter of '91
i was still driving my "pony"
and at that point i had been split up with the ex
for about a year and a half
making my most eloquent little petunia a scant 6 years old
(ttt ash)
i was living in T.O. (the first time - im currently on my second tour)
and had to pick up my ash
(for our every 2nd wkend)
then go to my parents for a gathering of the von flock
on the highway en route to ashville
a semi (truck! - ya pervs)
up ahead of me kicked up a piece of ice (i reckon)
and sent it hurtling toward my "my little pony"












i didnt see it - but when it hit my car
the noise was thunderous and scared
the livin-b'jesus-outta-me
i pulled over as soon as i could
to calm my nerves and survey the damage
well - there was a hole the size of ma heed in the front grill
oh well ...shit happens and off i went
sure enough at the prospect of shortly seeing ma wee petunia
i completely forgot about this semi-mishap
as usual i picked up ash and as it was dark she did not see the
gaping hole in the front of my car
we continued on our way to parentsville
with our usual pleasant banter
back then i was still the maraboro man


















so we stopped for some smokes and confectionaries
as we were walking toward the shop for some reason
ash turned and looked back at our little pony
upon seeing the front grill and its gaping hole
she uttered

holy fuck

[pre ps - i have lost control of font and bold - run for your lives]
we locked eyes
and before i could even consider snickering under my breath
ash went into full defense mode

hunker cry deny

nothing i could say would ring louder than
what was already ringing in ash's brain
besides whats the big whoop - its just a word
without the substance of ill-intent it is meaningless
life goes on
without missing a step we carried on our way

the thing that slays me is that after all this time

she still denies it

i love my ash
bern shares
bv)