saint christopher and saint lawrence

two patron saints i carry on a chain around my neck
both i got from ex-girlfriends
[chicks i went steady with - 1 good & 1 coo-coo coo-coo]

st christopher was martyred 251 ad

a sturdy man (perhaps even husky)
while roaming the world just for shits and giggles
came apon a hermit who lived beside a dangerous river
the hermits job was to guide travellers to safe crossing places
st christopher stayed with the hermit and eventually took

his place but instead of guiding travellers

he actually carried them safely across the river

one day st christopher had occassion to carry a small child

caught off guard mr man was almost brought to his knees

it took every ounce of will and faith to get them to the other side

and at the other side the child confided that he was christ

and the great weight was the burden of all sins

christ baptized him right there - cool

st lawrence was martyred 258 ad

he was arch-deacon, distributor of alms

and keeper of the treasures of the church

[sounds like a job bern would love

...but then again he was martyred - nevermind]

so anyhoo the pope and all the deacons were beheaded

(and thats not a promotion)

making st lawrence mack daddy

however the pope told him that him that they were

coming for him next

so for 4 days he distributed the treasures of the church

to the poor and needy - cool too

heres the thing about poor st lawrence

they cooked him to death on a gridiron - whoa

among their many patronages

st christopher is the patron of roamers and travellers

and also watches over bachelors

st lawrence is the patron of those less fortunate

and also watches over cooks (wince) and comedians

[for you naysayers]

fact or fabrication

it matters not

what matters is that i believe

and this belief guides me thru the forrest

bern shares

bv

this blog is making me crazy
while drafting a post
when i hit enter (to go to the next line)
it sometimes double spaces automatically
i dont want a double space
i dont know why or if im doing something different

HELP

this putting the kibosh on my creative genius
okay okay
its pissing me right off

bern shares
bv)

...a two-day tour

jsyk1 - the most K's ive ever done in one trip is 60
jsyk2 - i bot a pair of metrosexual biking shorts

fat (husky :) guys really shouldnt wear spandex
[and dont get me started on speedos]
heres the good thing about those spandex biking shorts
they have sewn-in padding where your ass meets the saddle
and even have some padding up thru the middle
to protect ............"the boys"

anyhoo

i figured the padded biking shorts were a good idea
considering my ass starts to get sore after 2 hours
dont worry
i wore another regular pair of shorts over top
lemme tell you jack those friggin shorts saved my ass

i took the go-train out to burlington
and rode my bike all the way to niagara on the lake
bout 90 clicks
just barely made it - seriously
i found a real nice no-rip-off place to stay (at 8 pm)
the orchid inn - the proprietor cindy was truly hospitable

i stayed the night and began my return after breakfast
on the way to N.O.L. i took the circuitous waterfront trail
so on the way back rather then repeat my trail
i took hwy-8 thru grimsby and stoney creek

albeit more direct the route is named "20 valleys"
...down - good ...up - bad
this return trip was quite daunting
30 clicks in pouring rain
55 clicks into a shameless head wind

so counting the ride to and from the go-station
thats ...almost 200k in 2 days
not bad for a guy
"that runs like a pregnant camel"
thats what my grade 8 gym teacher mr grodecki told me
and while im at it i should mention
that my math teacher mr rice
and my other gym teacher miss ceroni (grrrowll)
had a fling and we called it the"RICERONI AFFAIR"
and thats no shit

i digress

on my return journey
i had a real cool forrest gumpian moment
my new ass bike shorts sure as hell saved my butt
but my poor neck was getting sore
craining to give me proper vision of whats ahead
so when possible i kept my head down
to give my neck a break

forrest gump sitting on a park bench
describes to a lady a vista (ww j)
he came apon while he was jogging across america
"i couldnt tell where the heavens stopped and the earth began"

anyhoo

at the bottom of a slope approaching an uphill haul
i raised my head to see that i was surrounded
by magnificent sloping vineyards
a palate of colours
a multitude of textures

(look at the clouds, ash)
11 hours of toil rewarded by 1 moment

huh - cool eh

and also by the fact that i did it ...i went all the way
(to a cold corona - smirky boy , smirks)

bern shares
bv)

earlier today

i was having a text conversation with
one of my dear friends
in my adult life ive never embraced the term "best friend"
[the last time i had a best friend was 1966
- since then ive pretty much been
"tripping the light fantastic"
and just so ya know it aint as glamorous as it sounds]

i digress (qu'el suprise]

anyhoo
to this dear friend
i unwittingly blurted out 4 passions
and since the admission was unwitting
the order of which probably indicates
how i prioritize them

purpose
fatherhood
love
heroism

hmm

bern shares
bv)

wow
i just saw die hard 4
aka live free or die hard


















ash plug your ears
holy full blown movie geekness
i went to the same movie 2 nights running
[...and loving it !!]
the last time i did that was never
but in 19frickin88 i did see die hard














ash for the love of god turn away
as well as my new found custom of "the flask"
i have taken to smuggling in street meat
hot eye-talian sausage onions relish honey mustard
i bring a plastic bag with me
so i can stuff in my fatigues

both nights i didnt even finish my popcorn
so to all the girls ive loved before
id like to say i have evolved
[for lack of a better word]
its not about the corn
and tho that rhymes with porn
thats a mere coincidence
i'm a just a guy on a quest ...forlorn


oh and "we" think ive figured out my spacing problem










bern shares
bv)

[the spacing seems to be fine to me]
(but it wasnt on our last post)
[what - im trying to gaslight us]
(im sure its no big whoop just chill out)
[and jfk died of pneumonia *eye roll* sheesh]
(and the moon is made of cheese - HOLY SHIT)
[yes]
(dont patronize me - mr)
[dont call me me mr - mr]
(yes dear)
[fuck off]
(sorry)

WOW

i just saw die hard 4
aka live free or die hard


















ash - plug your ears
that fuckin movie fuckin rocks
the last time i had the priviledge to over charged
for comparible shit was 19frickin88
and that was die hard



















i cant figure out why the spacing is all f'ed up
and its really pissing me off
movie - good
blog - bad

bern share
bv)

i've got roland back (finally)

on the road again

goin places that ive never been

seein things that i may never see again

and i cant wait to get on the road again

its a bee-uty day

and im outee

day trip today

next week the two-day tour

bern shares

bv)

my wheels are in the shop










bike shops dont give out loaners
or frequent fixer points for that matter
what a bummer man
i feel stranded
to add insult to injury i'm on vacation and was gonna take
roland out for a two-day tour ...a two-day tour

instead perhaps i'll go the gym then hit my local
ahh, screw the gym i'm on vacation

bern shares
bv)