jobs bern would love:

hooters bikini pageant celebrity judge
























based on the quality of service
attention to detail
and commitment to the company credo
of big tits and nice cheeks
im hard pressed to pick a winner
ITS A 5 WAY TIE

[and if god loves me i'll be around for the
unofficial hoot-out)

bern shares
bv)

like i mentioned

i have my fathers slow ass metabolism
not his 6 foot frame to carry
i'm short and stout [dont ask me to drink tea]
and thats a pisser
but thankfully, i dont have his short ass temper
nor his "me me me" or "mine mine mine"
and thats cool
[good for me - takes oomph to beat the gene pool]

as i ease past mid-life into ...uhhhg
just plain fuckin older
i look at mirror-me and think i'm good
i'm still young baby
GIVE or take a few face pounds
then i look down and gaze at my hands

i have my father's hands
[i doubt he has ever noticed likewise]
dont get me wrong - i like my hands
as wrinkled as they are
[i try to moisturize as much as i can]
they tell my story
where i've been
where i'm likely to go

the thing is
"in my father's eyes" [eric clapton]
i will never be the man he thinks he wants me to be
as "he" "carried the world on his shoulders"
and "i" just "took the path of least resistance"
insert sarcastic tone
(this fuck never took the time to know his sons)
{did i say fuck - i meant SOB :) }

as i no longer have the urge or impetus
to slam dunk this notion on an old man
i mantra ...bless his heart
(and only because God is listening
and my mother, my mom is still alive)
my father would sooner hug a stranger
than tip his hat to a son [i am one of 3]

as i [thankfully] have my mom's sensitivity
i can appreciate that his childhood sucked
[SO DID MINE - YA F**K]
sorry, anyhoo

.
.
.
.
.
jeez...


ya know what
there is way too much bottled up in here
to make sense of in one post ...LORDY

for now, i'll say this
bringing home the bacon does not a father make
sure life is hard
lessons need be taught
but strength comes from love
and endurance from faith

my kid knows i love her and have faith in her
[no pressure ash, i'm just making a point - ttt]
come what may [and may happens] - i love you

sure life can be hard
BUT IT CAN BE GREAT TOO
we just have to DO OUR BEST

give peeps the benefit of the doubt
listen to the wind
watch people smile
and dont be so hard on ourselves

thats enough yammering for now
MUAH to you cats

bern shares
bv)

so i says to my one-legged wife i says
peg, i says, you stump me

we had our annual staff party last night
our annual "piss-up"
as i sit here and the memmories creep thru
into my conscious
i wince, shake my heed and shrug

great dinner
lots of wine
then school bus(driver speed up a little bit)to our
emporium of iniquity
too much tequila
this boy still can shoot stick
one fred flinstone striptease to disco inferno
(burn baby burn)...that song brings out my inner inner
one unrequited proclaimation of pash
...and we dance

for every wince
there is a smile
and as much as i embarrass my self
i wouldn't change a thing

bern shares
bv)

bern shares
bv)

...and babbles too

apropros of nothing

[...welcome to my world, wince shrug]

since being left at the alter
(ww-t)
[just like any fishing story worth its bait
...this one is on easy drag and gaining some spool]

-when im horizontal (alone , ya pervs) still, i dont yet
perceive mice elf of being whole enough to be with "her"
-but when im posting (with purple jesus and you folks) im saying gitty-up
im ready im ready im ready - already

having said that
of what im about to relate to you
i know this
one is a passing fancy to punch me a "buck up"
the other is reminder that
im hotter than fabian
and if i play my cards right
i could win the heart annie potts (grrrroooowl)

i have two crushes right now
[albiet - no ones actually turning my sheets
...but lets not recline on ceremony]

ones a real peach
the thing is she is 17 ( 17 !! ) years my junior
im not discounting anything chryological
...but i am 48
HOW IN GOD'S PLAN DID I GET TO BE FUCkING 48
............WHOA !!

the other lass ive known for a spell
she is of my age (we are of the same bent)
a demure crackerjack, jack
and happily married to stand-up man
im positive shre knows of my fondness
[bewitching eyes put a spell on me]
bless her heart - wise and tender enough
to neither rebuke nor kindle my gushes
everytime i blush is a compliment to her bloom

anyhoo

so...reallissticaaally
one is a compliment the other a damn shame
but both are integral for bern to move on

thank you ladies
for making a good man feel manly and worth his salt


bern shares
bv)

ps and only cuz im a gushing fool
this is MY kid - cool, eh :)