i just watched "scrooge" ...again
the 1951 "alastair sim" version of course
it was on the cbc
for which im thankful
[except the bastards colorized it - jeez louise]

my earliset recollection of that film
is 1968
watching it with my mom on christmas eve
bedtime after post haste - santa, duh

now im watching "its a wonderful life"
these movies are what christmas is all about jack
(how do you know my name)

my favorite "animated christmas flick" is
"rudolph the red nosed reindeer"
...nobody puts baby in the corner
[sorry wrong movie :) ]

these movies enable me to be george bailey
...its all good
so long as you try your hardest

bob's yer uncle

bern shares
bv)

christmas approaches

my heart is in a wrenched state

father - miss my kid
big ass softie - i friggin love [bern's] christmas
waiter - sick of happy people
home town heart in a big city - cool, people smile back
his son - im really "off" my dad
her son - im really diggin my mom
friend - being with you kids keeps me sane
brother - i love being your bro [albeit crazy ass]
one person in a one horse open sleigh - bummer man

anyhoo

christmas presents of note bern has bought for my mom



im 7
i buy my mom a spatula
because ours is cracked
...mom thanks me without cracking a smile

im 12
i buy my mom a (fake - who knew)
garnet earring and broach set from k-mart
...mom accepts it like an academy award
[i dont recall her ever wearing it - sokay jack]

im 16
i buy mom a vacuum cleaner
(my first real job at consumers distributing
afforded the dough as well as my employee discount)
im sure it pissed off my father
im sure i considered that a bonus

our family has long since been materialistic at christmas

im 48
i give my mom my undivided attention
she soaks it up like her "plants" that she tends after



xmas is not about buying shit
christmas is about saying "i love you"
...or at least "hello"
[not that everyday of the year isnt]

...merry christmas frank
...merry christmas bing
...merry christmas everybody

bern shares
bv)

ps i love my mom (props to my jiff)

sometimes i forget i work for a living
good thing i know the backstroke

this is me with my big brother



for the life of me
i cant imagine emulating a more humble man
(but of course im sure his wife dd might differ :)
[humble is good by the way ...ya f's]
he took the brunt of our fatherly shit
and still keeps an open mind
that freaks me out, as my mind is made up

good for you big bro
...yer a good man

bern shares
bv)

my "in" weekend is coming to an end
(i went "out" yesterday for provisions)

here's a few thoughts

every year as christmas approaches i buy
unshelled mixed nuts
brazil, filbert, walnut, pecan and almond


















i just found my new "go to" delivery joint
...how exciting!!
[thats nicey-nicey for giddy-fuckin-up]
pho pia sod, yam goong and pad thai
[thats thaiwanon for 'em 'em good]

i just rererewatched "the fisher king"
grrreat movie - i laughed, i cried
robin "from ork" williams
jeff "the dude" bridges
amanda "christopher's kid" plummer
mercedes "boobs" ruehl






i have always kept my life "small"
my mother wonders if i'm becoming a hermit
i too, wonder at times, despite
my use of euphemism and subjective analysis
















not to fear (bern is here)
i'm gonna get back "out" there
...i'm just not ready yet
and until i yam, i'll be right here


















cracking christmas nuts
slurping down pad thai
escaping into my movies

jsyk - i always feel ill at ease posting my vulnerabilities
as my ash is a reader

anyhoo

we are what we are (at the time, anyways)
and it aint always pretty [muah xoxo]

bern shares
bv)