metaphysical steve

once told me that perhaps i am an angel

over and above my scoff
my wonderment actually engages the possibility

of these fantastical things i know little
as i am what i am
but i am oft to dream of greater purpose

with surity i know this:
when my peeps ask me to be a catcher - i catch
as much as i would like to be a desinated hitter
i'll catch till i keel over
no probs
but once in while
i wanna hit - i wanna be the "say hey kid"

i am a good man - regardless of how you slice me

i love
i care
i empathize
i support
without expectation

im a sprouting brussel baby
you either git me or you dont
even if you dont ill grant a gratus period
cuz sometimes peeps arent thinking clear like

bern shares
bv)

just flasked "the happening"

i loved it

bern totally endorses shamalamadingdong's movies
[my fave being "unbreakable"]
but then again my palette
has accepted brussel sprouts
i think the folks that pan his movies dont like
brussel sprouts
but feel they must revisit the issue every once in a while
because their cool friends eat them gladly and willingly
but 20 minutes into the movie they redecide they hate the sprouts
if you dont like the sprouts
dont friggin eat em
leave for 'em those of us who
understand em and love em
...pretty simple shit

casting - spot freakin on - as per usual
markie mark is an every man
and zoey deschannel is [grrrrowl] zoey of elf

only critisism is the movie is too short
as evidenced by the fact that i am
walking home along bloor with my
bern-size rye 'n diet in hand
its all good
as the act of carrying it with occasional
sups extends my "happening" experience

at the risk of sounding like a
sprouting brussel
shamalama cuts to the quick

peeps want to be in love
and want to protect their loved ones from harm
ie: bad guys
aliens
ghosts
global warming

if you are not predisposed to dingdong's
movies then friggin go see "sex in cougar-city"
or "national nerdographic"

what im trying to say is this:

if you can not suspend your belief
and enjoy being taken away
thru the coarse of an alternate perspective
then do not sit beside me

bern shares
bv)

"when you snatch the pebble from my hand"
"then it will be time for you to leave"

thats from "kung-fu" the tv show













not to be confused with carl douglas singing
...everybody was "kung-fu fighting"



















and jsyk bruce lee got passed over for kung-fu
because he is asian [holy shafu batman]
and got relegated to the green lantern as kato















the fact that he's an expert karate guy
(cause im a karate man, a karate man bruises on the inside,
they dont show their weakness)














[and asian ...shhh]
didnt seem to sway the network professionals
they thought a white guy acting as an asian would be
more palatable - wtfwyito
(what the fuck were you idiots thinking of)

and just to really tack it down
batman and the green lantern aired at the same time
so "they" decided to have the "masked duos" duke it out


















to add insult to "no" injury
they have robin fight to a draw with kato
we all know this is impossible, as among
bruce lee's many accomplishments he
total gyms chuck norris
and slam dunks kareem abdul jabbar



bruce lee goes onto to a fantastic movie career
cut short by his premature and mysterious death
and burt ward (robin)
is lucky to land a single commercial gig
fronting a gillette inovation
..."holy razor blades batman, that was a close shave!"






















anyhoo, holy tangent batman!!

my mom went to the libary
on a solo mission
and sent out some emails
as she tells me on the phone
her chuftness fills my glad heart

grasshopper takes the pebble from my hand
with this deed done
i figger im still endebted for eternity

...and loving it

bern shares
bv)

well, its done
the ink is in

...and its fucking cool!!

cant stop looking at it
i gotta tell ya - it hurt less than i anticipated
but then i figgered it was gonna
hurt way more than anything ive experienced

my sun-ttt is cool
im very happy with it
but my ash's flower-ttt
is especially cool because she designed it

we went for sushi after
and talked and laughed and caught up on stuff

this is my best father's day ever
my kids rocks
and now that im sporting a bad ass tattoo
I ROCK

bern shares
bv)

ive been living in big city for awile now
bout 9 years (this time)
and ive grown accustomed to indigent folks
asking me fore money
i dont feel guilty anymore when i pass them by

some i acknowlige and some i dont

my generation used to call them beggars
and long gone are the days of the hobo and vagabond
now with advent of political corectness
we now call them street person and panhandler
way way back when panhandling was
a profession not a designation

anyhoo (holy talk the talk)
i got no probs shelling out a person that
by no choice of their own is unemployable

i got a problem shelling out to those lucid and witty enough
to toss me pithy comments as i pass by

"spare change, visa, mastercard"
"spare change for pot"
etc
i realize this stance firmly plants in the same garden as my parents
but some thimgs shouldnt change

hard working folks should catch the odd break
and certain people need looking after
either till they can do it on their own
or till (if ever) they are well enough to pitch in
"freeloaders" should be at the back of the line

"do i have any spare change?"
..."no but i do have some dough in my pocket that
i worked for"
and if yer a smart-alec, you aint gettin any!!

as evidenced by my last post

all 3 of my sheets were to the wind baby!









its all good
every word i utter or sputter
is mine ...for which to take credit or deal with

i was really beside myside with fatigue
it was my first decent journey on roland
70 clicks in 4 1/4 hours
thats pretty dern close to my record of 90
and this years bern doing the braggin is a good 10
pounds heavier then record-boy
[which im working on here (spoken a la archie bunker)]
the last 10k freaking tested my will
thank God all roads lead to my local
just wish all roads were down hill

anyhoo
i took the go-train out to bronte
and did my nostalgic wander thru oakville
growing up in oakville was ok
and the most circuitous route took me by every:
school
plaza
park
mom's house
restaurant
church
path
that is part of life and things i ponder

en route i passed a family of geese












kinda like this except

my geese are walking in a row
[like i like my ducks]
and the geeselets are smaller
more like kirks-tribbles

that made my day
and all the effort spent
oh and i brushed by a rabbit too

in retrospect i spent too much time
fucking around in jokeville
as:
lorne park
clarkson
port credit
long branch
mimico
the humber
took the toll on a middle aged guy
who refuses to grow old

[jsyk - my current sheet factor is a mild 1.25]

lord knows i wax wonderfully

this weekend
ive bin thinking about
my ash
mom getting on
my life growing up
and where i am now

my self-assessment is:

regret 2
satisfied 4
and satisfied is up with a man on 1st and 2nd


















bern shares
bv)

ps do they offer anaesthesia for tattoos
im just asking
im as tough as the next guy
what...what...what did i say?

holy shit

i just found an honest-to-goodness
tumbleweed in my domicile
(my mother would roll over in her bed
...{can i get any more cheeky}
...[its part of my mortality acceptance plan]
...lets move on)

its about an inch in diametre
[is that canadian or bad spelling?]
hair dust and "fibre unknown"

i think im gonna keep it for a while
now that its hot out and my fans are on
it jumps with the passing breeze
and jsyk my dang kitchen spider died

...bummer

...really

hence my preoccupation with
a fucking piece of balled up lint 'n shit

and only since im on a curse-word roll
i only just got enlightened to the code word for
the c-word ...the one that rhymnes with mulva
"see you next tuesday"
who knew
as enlightened as i think iam
...i am not
God bless my merry soul

i "flasked" 'ironman' tonight
i'm giving it 4 out of 5 hiccups
way less cgi than anticipated
and way more robert downey jr than i hoped for
he is way "less than zero" in my books
as an added boner i mean bonus
tony stark and pepper potts
play a decent homage to 007 & moneypenny















going into my 3rd summer in my 3rd floor appartamentay
i sit at the helm and gaze out
the bows bend with the wind
the squirrels perform pantastically
and all my plants are still alive
nudist bern sits in his chair and pervays the world

anyhoo

next sunday is fathers day
ive long stopped recognizing it for my ...ahh ...umm ...father
and have never held my progeny (ash) to this hallmark ocassion
but this particular f-day coming up
holds some import
my ash and i are getting tats together
not exactly the same but its "ttt"
...and thats fucking cool

the shit we have to do to facilitate our lives
is large and consuming
God bless us when we
laugh
ponder
while away
love
and make mashed potatos

anyhoo

sure im not getting "ahead" or "with"
but my day-to-day meets my standards

bern shares
bv)

ps blah blah blah ;)

when i turned 40 my brother-in-law

[i have only one as ive only one sister]
(well i suppose if one of my bro's were "you know"
that would be different ...but they aint)
{not that theres anything wrong with that
...if that were the case}

told me 3 rules to which i should take heed

1 - never pass a bathroom
2 - dont waste a hard-on

and ...dun dun dunnnnn

3 - never trust a fart

if you know not of what i speak
lucky you
live large
fart loud and proud
for your time will come
loss of bowel control
is as inevitable as the sinking sun
















and now as i approach 50 the anticipation of my next
set of rules
more than cowers my bowel

bern shares
bv)